We've all heard stories of people whose lives have changed for the better due to their recent unemployment. One moment they think it's the end of the world, but end up following their heart, trading in their corner office for a barn turned cannery - yes, just like Diane Keaton in the beloved 80s flick Baby Boom. A friend of mine recently shared this link to a movie trailer based on people who've been laid off in the advertising world, so I found it particularly touching:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJltcT7DH7g.
However, the difference between those people and myself is that I've never always wanted to anything. And those things I've kind of thought about doing, I never pursue. Take the decoration in the corner of my apartment for example, aka: my guitar. Ever since my mother's 40th birthday party when she and her friend strummed and harmonized to "Leaving on a Jet Plane" and "Puff the Magic Dragon" (and I danced around in a leotard and skirt with a lampshade on my head - hey i was 8), I've always wanted to learn. Over the years, I've taught myself a few chords and can even pick out a song or two, but in no means would I say I "play" the guitar. But then on the other hand, three years ago I got a crazy whim that I wanted to learn to surf. I was visiting some friends in Portland and we were taking a trip out to the Oregon coast that is known for their great surf. Next thing you know, I was searching for board and wetsuit rentals and begging my friend's super hot surfing buddy for a lesson. After only a few hours of getting tangled up in waves, taking in mouthfuls of salt water and barely avoiding hypothermia, I was determined to master this sport, or at least stand up on the board and catch one wave on my own. So much in fact, that when I got back to New York I found myself searching for adult surf camps. Within only a few weeks, I booked a trip to the Canary Islands to spend a week on a remote beach on an island off the coast of Morocco, living in a surf house with 10 dudes (half of which didn't barely spoke English) and two girls, and training 5 hours a day at the beach learning to shred some waves.
So when I found myself in this new city with no work, I asked myself that big profound question of "what have I always wanted to do." I couldn't honestly come up with one thing, but I did come up with a long list of possibilities that sounded great at the time such as:
- Switch over from event into film production
- Move onto the Ad world and get a job at an agency or perhaps even in house at a lame corporate company
- Leave the stress of production all together and wait tables or barista at a coffee shop
- Go ski bum in Aspen
- Go ski bum in Whistler
- Go surf bum in Mexico (which i did for a short while)
- Become a nanny
- Open my own market
- Move back to new york
- Write a cookbook for health conscience business women who are always on the go and never home long enough to warrant a refrigerator full of fresh produce
- Make fig jam and sell it to local markets
- Be an events manager at a high end hotel in Hawaii (or other beach resort)
There were all these ideas swimming in my head which, depending on my mood and the number of drinks I'd consumed, at one point or another seemed like the perfect idea and exactly what I should be doing with my life. I remember my father saying, after I'd run the New York Marathon, that I could do anything I put my mind to. But the problem is, I can't put my mind to anything right now. I mean, I putting it to everything, but not committing to one thing (which ties in to my commitment fears which I'm sure will come up again in a later post). In this frustrating bout of ADD I decided to give myself a mental test...just to see if I could still achieve anything I put my mind to. So I decided to start easy, with a change in my dietary routine which was desperately needed after a month of traveling, eating out every meal and consuming multiple drinks each night while catching up with friends. The test was to go a week with no meat, no dairy, no booze and no caffeine.
So far I'm on day 4 and, despite the two hour nap in the middle of the day, I'm beginning to have some mental clarity. By day three I'd come to realize that the reason I don't pursue the things I've always wanted to do, is because i'm afraid of failing. Since I've thought about the guitar for so long, I'd be really bummed to find out that I have no skill whatsoever. But with surfing, it was just a cool thing to do at the time, so if I failed it was no big deal because I wasn't emotionally invested in it. Which brought me some clarity on my list of career options. The one thing on that list I've wanted to do longer than anything else on that list was to open my own market...or retail store in general. It actually came from that same trip to Portland when I went surfing for the first time. I was driving through the barely developed SouthEast with my friend's super hot surfing buddy, when I had the idea to open my own clothing store featuring local designers and local art. When I moved to Seattle it morphed slightly after taking a trip to Eastern Washington and driving through wine country.
After my big realization, I felt so energized and invincible that I decided to put my $10 gift certificate to Elliot Bay books to good use (a thank you from my volunteering with the Seattle Girls School, one positive thing I did with my unemployment time) and purchase my first book on opening my own retail business. So far I am only on page 8, but I've started conducting my own research and have even thought of a name and clear niche to give my business an edge in this bitter economy.
While I'm still looking for production opportunities, mainly longer term freelance gigs in Seattle, New York, Vancouver, wherever... I'm going to make it a point to dedicate a portion of each day brainstorming my market and schooling myself on the processes for opening my own business. For all of you who become a follower of my blog, you'll be invited to my big private opening and even receive a special one of kind gift...hint, hint follow my blog;) And as for the diet regiment, I still have 3 days and 4 nights to go, so I'll keep you posted. Who knows, if I keep having these clear visions, I may never drink again...but I haven't quite put my mind to that yet.
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